Winning Without Victory
a political and romantic fiction novel by Rolf A. F. Witzsche
Volume 3 of the 12-volume series, The Lodging for the Rose

Page 85
Chapter 8 - The Shockwave Effect.

      When the Jacuzzi became too hot, long after Tony's game had started, we stretched ourselves out on the lounges. The pool looked like an enormous emerald indeed, glowing mysteriously in the dark. We talked about fairy tale wonders, things of this sort, and about us in the same context.

      "What do you expect will happen to us?" Heather asked at one point.

      "Will happen?" I repeated and shook my head. "You mean, is happening? The way I feel right now I couldn't ask for anything better. The best is happening already. I am having the most wonderful feeling when I am with you. It started yesterday since we met. I hadn't known for a long time what it means to be on fire."

     I turned towards her and smiled. "What more can happen?" I said. "Just looking at you is a joy beyond compare; to see your smile; your wonderful face; your sparkling eyes; your lovely hair blowing in the breeze as we drive; to see your beautiful figure whenever I open my eyes. Just being near you is heaven. Could I ask for more? And the way things go, it seems there is more of this to come the more we get to know each other. Being with you is a treat in every respect."

      She hadn't answered a word to what I had said. Instead, she raised her shoulders in a cuddly sort of way and smiled. This said more.

      I had raised the back of the recliner when we spoke. It was wonderful just to sit there and look at her. What I saw and felt, I had only been dreaming about before, except that I hadn't dreamed tall enough. I leaned back all the way now and then. Leaning back brought me closer to her as she lay stretched out in the recliner next to me, close enough to touch. "We must not let go of what we have," I said quietly. "Life is so rich! We must let it unfold. We must allow ourselves to be who we are. We owe this to ourselves."

      Again she didn't answer, but kept on smiling.

      "A traveler once asked a coachman to show him all the best sights in his country," I continued the conversation, not taking my eyes off her for a second."

      "But the traveler was unwise," she said, continuing the story. "He imposed on the coachman: Turn here. Turn there! In the end the traveler complained bitterly when the coach ended up driving through a garbage dump instead of along a beach or through a park."

      "Life is full of beautiful things and of beautiful people," I replied. "By what wisdom can we impose on its ways by asking for more when we have the best already at hand? And most of that, so it seems, lies already within us?"

      Heather begun to grin at this point. I could still remember it. She didn't say anything. She just grinned. So I kept on.

      "The traveler tours the world to experience whatever riches the world holds," I said moments later.

      "Sex, too?" she asked, still grinning.

      I shrugged my shoulders. "The sum total of what we share is greater than sex."

      "But isn't the lesser a part of the greater?" she asked with a sweet gesture as she was inviting me for a kiss. Indeed she was. That opportunity I wasn't inclined to let go by unrealized.

      I kissed her in reply.

      Indeed, why should I have resisted that wonderful invitation? "I would be a liar to suggest that I wouldn't say, whoopee doo!" I said to her after the kiss and followed this up with another kiss.

      "And fooling around?" she said, grinning even more.

      "Indeed, coachman, I would answer. Fooling around? Why not? The thought is exciting. Please take us to it. Show us all the bests sights!"

      I grinned back at her so much so that my face began to hurt.

      "Love must envelop us in all its ways," she replied and did this with a wicked kind of smile. "Love must be like a sun for its own sake, by its own terms. That's fooling around, isn't it?"

      I nodded. "But love might be still more than that," I added. "Love begins within us as we fall in love with ourselves for what we are, for the freedoms we are able to claim, and for the wonders we are able to share. This is something we can't fool around with. It is something so precious that we can only embrace each other for, even intimately. With it we enrich one-another's life by sharing our being with one-another. When this kind of self-love overflows, in which we embrace one-another, then the spark of our humanity that we cherish deeply in our heart can only lead to a lot of hugging, even sexual embracing in whatever form this may be appropriate. It has to be that way, don't you agree, for where would one draw the line to hem the sunshine in?"

      She nodded and grinned. "Then we shouldn't resist it, right?" she said in her lovely sweet voice.

      "That's how it must be if our life is to be as grand as our love tells us that it might be," I said in as soft a tone as I could.

      "What are your preferences then?" she asked, still grinning.


      "Sexual preferences?"

      "That depends on what the question means," I replied with an even bigger grin. "If it means male or female, I choose female. If it means a little or lots of it, I choose moderate. If it means oral, anal, or whatever, I choose oral. If it means kinky or straight, I choose straight. If it means having it with you, or someone else, I choose you, definitely you. I'd love to feel my face between your legs...."

      "Oh you devil!" she interrupted and waved a finger at me.

      "Home is heaven," I said. "Its song is endless celebration, its fire the universal kiss, its peace our joy, its vestibule a holy place. Do we need more? Should we aim for less?"

      "Ah, you're a devil then, who loves to have the Universe on fire," she said with a grin.

      "But isn't that the way the Universe already is?" I said. "Isn't every star in the heavens a sun? The heavens are ablaze with fire, with the fire of the universal kiss!"

      She grinned. "Why wouldn't I love a celebration in heaven then?" she said and laughed. "But where shall it be?"

      "In my room, or yours?" I said and joined her laughter. "If this is the choice, I would choose your room since mine is occupied. And if the choice is between now or later, I would choose 'any' time, tonight, this very minute, immediately!"

      "My room will do - heaven should never be distant," she said and continued to laugh while standing up. "My heaven is yours for the sharing," she said. With her laughter quickly becoming a grin, she punched me gently and then reached her hand out to help me up. "What a daring devil you are! Of course I'd love to feel your face between my legs," she added and sealed the agreement with a kiss.

      We both grinned from ear to ear. I didn't say anything more. There wasn't a need to say more.

      We had left the pool area hand in hand.

      What had followed that night unfolded into a new dimension of loveliness that I wouldn't want to have missed for the world. For a brief moment the danger of AIDS came to mind and vanished from it. The thought was quickly suppressed as irrelevant. Her motives were powered by love, not by the arrogance of a killer. She was a star, a sun, and a bright new universe to explore. What a promise that night held for all the days ahead! And it wasn't an empty promise. That night became the beginning of an explosion of joy that brightened all the days we had had together.

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